


Vegeta Vegita: Attorney at Law

by GokuGirl



Series: The Vegeta Humiliation Chronicles [6]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Humor, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-07-12
Updated: 2000-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-05 18:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4190163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GokuGirl/pseuds/GokuGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 6 of the Career Arc. Vegeta's first case as a criminal defense attorney.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vegeta Vegita: Attorney at Law

Vegeta picked up his brief case and walked down the street to where his brand new Mercedes, courtesy of Bulma, was parked by the meter. As he smoothed a nearly invisible wrinkle out of his black Armani suit -- nevermind the fact that he was just about to sit down again -- he opened the right side driver door of his vehicle, a woman came running up to him.

"Vegita-san! Vegita-san!" she cried.

"What do you want woman?!" he growled. She was wasting his time. He was already late for lunch with his wife.

"I need your help!"

"Come back later, when I'm full."

She gave him the infamous puppy dog eyes. "But you're the only one who can help me! After lunch might just be too late!"

Vegeta sighed. Damn that woman and damn that look! She shut the car door and motioned to her. "Come to my office and we can discuss this over coffee."

"Arigatou!"

***

"You want me to do WHAT?!" Vegeta shrieked after hearing what was wrong.

The woman, who said her name was Lenora, flinched. "You the best in the business."

"That's true..."  _Damn! She sure knows how to flatter someone!_

"Are you going to do it or not?"

"Woman," She glared at him. "this is hard for me to admit but I don't think that I can get your husband off."

"Why not?"

"Lady he went into a mall and starting shooting people with an assault rifle. For no reason! The JSIB (Japanese Special Investigation Bureau) was there watching him and they're the ones who made the arrest!"

"Your point is?"

Vegeta stook in irritation. "Good bye."

Lenora started to nod and walk out. Then the strangest thing happened. She turned around, leapt at Vegeta, grabbed him around the legs, and began to wail.

"OHHH PLEEEEASE! PLEEEEASE HELP MEEEEE! I'LLLLL DOOOOOO ANNNYTHIIIING!"

Vegeta started to pry her off in disgust and then he stopped. "Anything?"

"Hai," She sniffled, her nose dripping on his suit. "Anything."

_Ugh! Now I'm going to have to go by the dry cleaners!_

"Well, you have to...."

***

"Please rise," the balif said in the courtroom that next week. Vegeta had to fly to the United States for the preceedings. It was held in the Texas state court. "The honorable Judge Johnson will preside over the case."

Judge Johnson came in from his room off to the side and sat. "You may be seated."

"First case of the day, The State versus Thomas Redley."

"Plantiff, please state your case."

"Thank you your honor." The skinny man approached the front. "We are accusing Mr. Redley of heartlessly slaughtering people at a public mall. He had no right to do that and--"

Vegeta jumped to his feet. "Objection!"

"On what grounds?" the judge asked.

"He doesn't know whether he had a good reason or not! He wasn't present at the alleged incident."

"There isn't a reason in the world that would provoke him to do something so stupid! Alleged incident? Are you trying to imply that it never happened?"

The judge frowned deeply and rapped his gavel on its stand. "Mr. Vegeta, Mr. Gilbanni if you two cannot control yourseves in this Court of Law, I shall hold you in contempt!"

"Sorry your honor," the toothpick of a lawyer replied.

"Gomen nasai."

The judge glared at them both, Vegeta in paticular. "You better hope so."

***

The case went on and on from there, but like Vegeta had said earlier, there wasn't a thing he could do to get that man off. Later he outfitted Lenora with a hose, sponge, a rag, and a can of wax before retreating into his house.

"If there's a scratch on my car..." he let the threat linger in the air. She nodded, sort of fearfully.

"HI TOUSAN!" Bra hugged him as he came in. "How are you?"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "These bakas think that I'm a miracle worker!" He picked Bra up and went into the living room.

"Hello Veggie-chan!" Bulma said cheerfully. "You had a phone call."

Vegeta frowned. "From who? Don't tell me it's that retard Kakarott again! I told him I can only spar  _once_  a day for now on and that's in the mornings!"

"Iie," Bulma handed him a notepad. "It's from another potential convict." She grinned suddenly. "This one you have to read to believe..."

Vegeta scanned the pad, his perpetual scowl becoming more defined with each word.

"I am NOT---" Then he saw how much the job was worth if he won. "...going to waste more time! I have to go pack for another trip to the US."

Trunks came into the room, Goten close by as usual. "What case is it this time?"

Bulma's grin grew wider. "You father has to represent some kid."

Goten shrugged. "No big deal about that."

Bra, who had known about it earlier, gave him a look. "Just hear about what he did!"

"The girl, a little younger than Bra, apparently is a genius and she hacked into the US government's files."

Trunks and Goten's eyes got larger.

"That's not all, she re-routed all of the funding  _and_  stole about 25 million dollars from Fort Knox!"

"How'd she get caught?" Trunks asked.

"She forgot to hide the IP address from her computer and the FBI tracked her down."

Goten whistled. "She should have used a public computer...." Seeing everyones looks he hastilly continued. "Not that I know about such things!"

"Anyway...." Vegeta rolled his eyes, "I have to go soon and since her Kaasan is an heiress, they're offering 1.2 million zenni if I win it!"

"Wow!" Bulma exclaimed. "We'll be rich, er, even more rich!"

"Hell no woman! This money is going to be all mine!"

"What are you going to do with it?"

"I haven't decided yet." Vegeta glared at her. "Leave me alone, I need to look over my books and find a loop hole. Since she's a minor, it should be easier." He turned to his daughter. "Bra, you can help me."

"Yeah!"

"Aw Tousan!" Trunks whined. "Why can't I help?"

"Trunks, how big is your IQ again?"

"Point taken. Let's go mess with Pan, Goten."

"Okay." They two young saiyans left on their way to Gohan's house.

"See what I mean?" Veggie said to Bulma. "When was the last thing he did that was constructive? Sparring not counted."

"I wouldn't have counted it anyway! He must have been 10. It was when he read a book on how to pick up women."

Bra started laughing.

"He was always a little womanizer." Bulma said.

"I have work to do. Come on Bra."

"Hai."

***

45 minutes later, Vegeta deemed he was ready and Bra talked him into letting her coming along.

"I've did extensive research. There's nothing in the books that say that you can't bring an assistant (dont really know if there is or not, but just go along with this)."

"Well, you are good at law and you're dependable." Bra beamed. "Okay, you can come too."

"Oh arigatou!"

"Hey Lenora! Are you done with my car yet?" Vegeta went outside with Bra following.

"Hai Vegeta-san. Doesn't it look okay?"

Vegeta examined every inch of the black paint. Then he saw something that made his scream. "THERE. IS. A. SCRATCH. RIGHT. HERE!"

Lenora ran over to him and moved her hand over it. "Vegeta, it's just a piece of gray thread." she said a little shakily as she showed it to him.

"So it is. Sorry about that." Lenora fainted in relief. Vegeta moved her off to one side and got in, putting the suitcases into the trunk.

"Bye Kaasan! We'll be back soon!"

"And I'll be rich!" Vegeta pulled out of the driveway and tore down the street.

"If he was going to drive like that, he shouldn't have got an expensive foreign car." Bulma said, sighing.

***

"All rise. The honorable Judge Bennett presiding." The balif announced. This time they were in federal court.

The judge arrived and sat down. "You may be seated."

"First case of the day: The Government of the United States of America versus Samantha Howard."

Vegeta spoke. "Your honor, I have a question. May I approach the bench?"

"You may."

"Listen, my 14 year old daughter is my assistant. This is okay with you, right?"

"Yes. I see no problem with it."

"Good." He returned to his seat.

"Plantiff," the judge said. "state your case."

"Thank you your honor. We have charged Samantha Howard, a 12 year old from New York, with the crime of breaking into the top-security files of the United States and stealing over 25 million dollars from Fort Knox." The woman took her seat.

"How does the defendant plead?"

Vegeta motioned to Bra who stood. "Not guilty." The girl sitting next to Vegeta looked  _extremely_  frightened.

The judge nodded. "State your reasons."

Vegeta took the floor. "There are many factors involved with this, your honor. One, she is a minor and therefore entitled to her mistakes. That is how we learn. Two, she did not receive the money. Since it wasn't on her person, she should not be charged with that..."

"Objection!"

"On what grounds?"

"She attempted to steal it. That is what matters."

"Vegeta glared at the woman. "You said that she  _did_ steal it, not attempted to!"

The woman blushed slightly. "I-uh.."

"You have no idea what you're talking about do you?!"

Bra stood and rushed to her father. "Tousan, calm down. If you don't keep a level head then we won't win."

He nodded. "Excuse me your honor. I wish to apologize to the Plantiff's attorney."

He just nodded. "Sit down Ms. Walker. Continue, Mr. Vegita."

"Thank you." He moved toward the jury and looked each one of them in the eyes. "We do not know that it was her. Just because the computer was in her room does not mean that she did it. There are 5 other people living in her house, any one of them could have been the acutal culprit."

"OBJECTION!"

"Why?!" Vegeta glared death at the woman.

"Mr. Vegita!" The judge snapped. Veggie shut up. "Overruled!"

"Thank you. I have no further questions your honor." Vegeta took his seat and Bra gave him another pill to calm him down. "Bra, you're taking the next one (not the pill, the next round of questioning and evidence thing)."

"I hold before the jury exibit A." Ms. Walker held up a plastic bag with a computer mouse inside of it. There was also a paper that matched the fingerprints to Samantha. "The mouse!"

"That's obvious," Vegeta muttered to Bra who giggled.

"It has her fingerprints all over it! I now show you exhibit B, the keyboard!"

"Ms. Walker, do you have a point to this?"

"Finally!" Bra sighed.

"Yes I do! Since these items have her prints all over them, she is guilty!"

"Thank you Ms. Walker, you may now be seated."

Bra stood. "I would like to call a whitness your honor."

"You may."

"Will Samatha Howard please come to the stand."

The girl nervously approached.

"Will you swear the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?"

"I d-d-do." She sat.

"Now Samantha, tell us about your family life."

The girl gave Bra a weird look then spoke. "Well, my mother and father live with me as well as my older sister, older brother and my little brother..."

"Do you have a room to yourself?"

She shook her head. "I share with Meghan."

Bra turned to the jury. "She shares a room with her sister, who could have logged on around the same time the files were hacked into."

She turned back to Samantha. "Do you get on the internet often?"

"Not really. I mostly play with my little brother, Brandon."

"Were you logged on the day of the incident?"

"Yes. I had to search the internet for information for a report."

Ms. Walker gave a smug look.

"Ms. Walker, what time was the governmential computer hacked into?"

"Around 11pm."

"Sam, what time do you go to sleep on school nights?"

"10 o'clock."

"Ah ha! She always goes to sleep at 10 o'clock on school nights! What time does your sister go to sleep?"

"Whenever. She usually stays up to about 1am."

"OBJECTION!"

"On what grounds, Lady? I didn't ask a wrong question!" Bra growled.

"I know you didn't. I just have something to say."

"You don't call objection for that!"

"Who are you to say if I do or don't little girl?"

Bra growled further and began to walk over to the woman. Just as she was about to give her a few good bruises, Vegeta held her back.

"Let me take over for now."

"No further questions your honor."

Ms. Walker, recovering from her brush with death, smirked.

"Samantha, are you telling the complete truth?"

"Yes. She didn't ask me any hard questions!"

"Do you like hacking into things?"

"OBJECTION!" Bra and Vegeta shouted in unison. "She's badgering the whitness!"

"Sustained."

"I just want the truth!"

"Lady, you can't handle the truth!" Bra snarled.

The judged rapped his gavel against the stand. "Order in the court! Young lady, you may now leave the stand." He looked at the clock on the wall. "Since we are running out of time, the jury will now leave to render a verdict."

The baliff opened the door on the the right side of the courtroom and all 12 jury members, including the foreman, left for the small room beyond. Then things got a little restless.

"Do you think we won?" Bra whispered to her father.

"We should. That bitch from the government doesn't know a thing about law!"

"I heard that!" Ms. Walker hissed at them.

"You were supposed to!"

Ms. Walker jumped up from her seat. "How dare you! You and that little brat you call an assistant!"

Bra jumped up as well. "You don't know what you're messing with Lady!"

Ms. Walker snorted. "I'm sure it isn't much."

"Oh that's it!" Bra jumped over the table and tried to throttle her when Vegeta pulled her back to her seat.

"Who needs the pill now?" he said handing the bottle and a glass of water to her.

Bra shot him a look before she took it.

Then the baliff walked up to the judge and told him something.

"Now, the jury has reached a verdict." They 12 members returned and took their seats.

"Please stand up and read the verdict."

The foreman stood and spoke. "Because there wasn't enough evidence to prove that she  _didn't_  do it, we find the defendant guilty."

The crowd started to mutter.

Judge Bennett rapped the gavel. "I sentence you to 10 hours of community service and an internet restriction of about 1 month. Court dismissed!"

"She hacks into the governmential computers and only gets community service?!" Ms. Walker shrieked.

"Life just isn't fair, is it?" Bra said smugly.

Samantha's parents came up, hugged their daughter, and spoke to Vegeta.

"Since you kept our poor baby from capital punishment, you'll still get the money."

Vegeta smirked. "Thank you! Can I have it by next week? I know just what I'm going to spend it on."

"What's that Papa?" Bra asked.

"We're going on vacation! Maybe tour the world or something. Just you and me. How about that?"

Bra hugged him and laughed. "That's great!"

"Just don't tell your mother."


End file.
